Tragicomedies.

I've been happier these past couple of days. Even if I don't show it, I feel it. And even though there are more hard and confusing times to come, it's comforting to know that I'll always get back on my feet.

There are reasons I titled this 'Tragicomedies'. One of those reasons may or may not be caused by the fact that I just got back from Shakespeare class, in which we discussed tragicomedies.
However, there is more.
Bittersweet. That's kind of how I would describe how I feel right now. I'm happy with myself, with who I am, and with who I'm becoming. I'm happy because of the friends I have. I'm happy because of my family. I have so many things to be happy about, and I truly am happy about them.

But then there's that bitter aftertaste. The taste of who I've hurt, the good things that have ended, and the changes that are inevitable.

I'm sad that this year is almost over. We've had such great times. The people I've met here, the things I've done, it's all changed my life. And now it's changing again.
I'm sad that my sister didn't get her Prince Charming. No one deserves it more than her.
I'm sad that I didn't do well my freshman year of college. It makes me feel like I failed not only my parents, but also myself.
I'm sad that Kira isn't coming back next year. Really, really sad.
I'm sad that I hurt Zach, and that he doesn't talk to me anymore. Just knowing that I could've gone about this whole situation differently, and that it's my fault, is killer.
I'm sad that no matter how much I like Kenny, we won't be together. The closer I get, the more comfortable I feel, makes it hurt a little bit more. Although there are good reasons, it still sucks. But it's worth it.
I'm sad that I never planned or prepared for my future, because even though the only thing that's certain is 'the now', my future is what's taking the beating for how much I didn't care.
I'm sad that I still can't seem to say everything I feel.

Most of all, I'm sad that even though I feel happier than before, I still feel all of this sadness.

Maybe tomorrow I'll make an "I'm happy that.." post as a counteraction.