The Next Sensation...not.

This whole week, my dreams have been about singing.

Monday night:

I was auditioning for the Glee club, and I was going to sing "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele. My dream didn't get as far as singing it.

Tuesday night:

Let me give you a little background story. Codi, my lovely neighbor, found out that I can sing, so she asked me to sing for her. After I did, she said she'd give me the numbers to her voice teachers, whom she said are the best. So, there you go. 

Back to the dream. 

I was about to call Codi's voice teachers when she told me that she knew someone up in Logan who would be my teacher and was just as good as the other teachers. It was Gwyneth Paltrow. Coincidentally, Gwyneth was my yoga instructor as well, so she already knew who I was. So, we set off to her office so I could sing for her. The end.

Yeah, I know, the dreams happened only twice. But still.

I just need to start singing more. That's what I'm taking from this.

Perhaps I'll be like all the others and post a video of me singing on YouTube or something. If I'm brave enough, that is. Which I'm not.

These Days.

What do I miss? Let me tell you.

Watching sappy Lifetime movies and The Bachelor with my mom.

Making Britny laugh at my sarcastically told stories. And just talking, about everything.

Family dinners. They get crazy.

My dads.

Though that may sound like my fathers are 'life partners', I can assure you they are the opposite. I have a mother, thank you very much.

Connor, Shaniah, and Abbi. They make my life worthwhile.

Berkleigh. She's growing up without me.

Laying with my dog. Playing with my dog. Taking pictures of my dog. Basically just my dog.

How things were before everything somehow changed.

Late movie nights with Becca, Kira, and Kenzie.

Making muddy buddies.

How effortless life was last semester.

Being funny. Mainly just when I blogged.

My long hair.

My appendix. There is a void in my body that cannot be filled without it.

Super loud dance club music in the wee hours of the morning.

Rascal Flatts Day.

Sunshine, warmth, summer, shorts, tank tops, flip flops.

California. The beach. Disneyland.

Cheerleading.

Happiness is a warm gun.

As promised.

I'm happy that the sun is shining. Although it's kind of cold outside, the sun is out, and it's marvelous.
I'm happy that I have a summer job with the Girl Scouts.
I'm happy that Zach and I were able to talk, and that we're good friends.
I'm happy that my dad, my sister, and my niece are coming to Logan next weekend.
I'm happy that summer is almost here.
I'm happy that I have Becca, Kira, Whitni, and Kenzie as my best friends.
I'm happy that I met Kenny.
I'm happy that I've decided what to major in.
I'm happy that I take naps.
I'm happy that I have cool sunglasses.
I'm happy that I have Frank. He's the greatest car ever.
I'm happy that my dad let me borrow the tandem bike.
I'm happy that I pray every night.
I'm happy that I'm happy.

Tragicomedies.

I've been happier these past couple of days. Even if I don't show it, I feel it. And even though there are more hard and confusing times to come, it's comforting to know that I'll always get back on my feet.

There are reasons I titled this 'Tragicomedies'. One of those reasons may or may not be caused by the fact that I just got back from Shakespeare class, in which we discussed tragicomedies.
However, there is more.
Bittersweet. That's kind of how I would describe how I feel right now. I'm happy with myself, with who I am, and with who I'm becoming. I'm happy because of the friends I have. I'm happy because of my family. I have so many things to be happy about, and I truly am happy about them.

But then there's that bitter aftertaste. The taste of who I've hurt, the good things that have ended, and the changes that are inevitable.

I'm sad that this year is almost over. We've had such great times. The people I've met here, the things I've done, it's all changed my life. And now it's changing again.
I'm sad that my sister didn't get her Prince Charming. No one deserves it more than her.
I'm sad that I didn't do well my freshman year of college. It makes me feel like I failed not only my parents, but also myself.
I'm sad that Kira isn't coming back next year. Really, really sad.
I'm sad that I hurt Zach, and that he doesn't talk to me anymore. Just knowing that I could've gone about this whole situation differently, and that it's my fault, is killer.
I'm sad that no matter how much I like Kenny, we won't be together. The closer I get, the more comfortable I feel, makes it hurt a little bit more. Although there are good reasons, it still sucks. But it's worth it.
I'm sad that I never planned or prepared for my future, because even though the only thing that's certain is 'the now', my future is what's taking the beating for how much I didn't care.
I'm sad that I still can't seem to say everything I feel.

Most of all, I'm sad that even though I feel happier than before, I still feel all of this sadness.

Maybe tomorrow I'll make an "I'm happy that.." post as a counteraction.

Welcome Back, Sherece.

I have failed the 30 Day Blog Challenge.

Don't worry, I won't lose sleep over it.

I have decided to still use the ideas, though. 

For example:

My "True Self"

I am sarcastic.

Rarely serious.

I take sincere compliments to heart.

I am incredibly popular. Seriously, everyone wants to be me.

I am Becca's personal, on-call hair stylist.

I am engaged to Shawn White, the snowboarder. He doesn't know yet.

I have lots of parents.

Purple is my favorite color.

Breakfast is the best thing to be invented since high heels.

I'm actually black, but my gangsta only comes out when Kira's does.

I think it's rude and disrespectful to talk about people behind their back.

Tyra Banks gets her style inspiration from my facebook photos.

I have been convinced to apply to America's Next Top Model.

High school had no point other than to cause merciless drama.

I have a really weird family. But they keep me on my feet.

This summer, I am going to be a camp counselor for the Girl Scouts. I'm stoked.

When I hurt someone, it stays on my conscience for a long time.

I want to live in California, right by the beach.

I like the bohemian-style clothing. And cargo shorts.

Holla.

No more doormats.

All my life, I've been a people pleaser. I do whatever I can to make everyone else happy. I change how I act depending on who I'm with, because I try to be who people will want me to be. What I've realized is that I can never make everyone happy, and if I'm spreading myself thin to meet other's needs, I'll never make myself happy.
I'm kind of sick of letting everyone walk all over me.
So I'm going to be myself, no matter what.
Take it or leave it.

Can you tell I've been listening to this song?

Days Of Our Lives + The Young and the Restless

29. Your week.

There were no beaches involved. No road trips, hotel rooms, amusement parks, or suntans. Although rest and relaxation were anticipated, they were not received. Comparably speaking, my spring break was not as great as others. And even though I know it could have been better, I had fun. For the most part.

This week, I went to prom with Whitni.

We went shopping with Kira and purchased great glasses.

I listened to too much He Is We and Maroon 5, and am now pretty sick of them.

We went to dinner with Kenny and Andrew, and then made the inevitable Walmart trip.

On an impulse, we dyed Britny's hair 'fire engine' red.

I nearly had a heart attack when I thought I was going to get pulled over.

My life turned into a week-long soap opera.

Britny went back to someone who clearly has a lot of growing up to do.

I lost one of the best friendships I've ever had, and I have no idea what I did to deserve the things that were said.

Whitni and i went to church with my mom and my sister. We napped in the nursery and went to relief society with humorous old ladies.

Threats were made, cops were called, crude words were said, and respect was lost, all because of one person.

Kira, Whitni, and I decided to come home to Logan early. It was a great decision.

__________________________________________________

I'd like to thank Kira Horton, Whitni Gardner, Andrew Davis, and Kenny Ludwig for not running away screaming from my mess of a home life. I'm sorry you all were there in the climax of our soap opera, however I am thankful you were all there to keep me sane. I love you guys.

W is for Wonderful.

Whitni Gardner is my nextdoor neighbor on the fourth floor of the towers. She is such an amazing person, I can't even describe it. She gets along with everyone. She helps her friends resolve fights. She comforts people when they're feeling awful. She randomly gives me hugs, all the time, and I love it.

All around, she's just plain great.



Whit came home with me for spring break. It was so nice of her to stay with a family she barely knows, in a house she's never been to, in a place that is literally in the middle of nowhere.

She has been my Amazing Grace this weekend, and so many times before.

Thank you for being one of my best friends, Whitni. I love you.

Love, Me.

Online greetings with a disturbing cliffhanger.

28. Something that makes you laugh.

My family makes me laugh. Plain and simple. Granted, they also drive me up a very large wall. But we're focusing on the positive today, aren't we, Becca?

Every Christmas, my family sends a Christmas card to everyone in our family. It has grown to be something they all look forward to, and we are very proud. 

You see, our Christmas cards are always very unique.

Maybe not so much this year, because our card was just a collage of Berkleigh. I love her, but it was kind of generic.

We pride ourselves in coming up with humorous and witty sayings, pictures, and decorations. We are a very sarcastic- and joke-based family, and I just love it.

A few years ago, we procrastinated to the point of not even taking a picture. So, in a panic, we collectively came up with an idea of an e-card that we could simple forward to everyone who was deserving.

In my opinion, it was our best Christmas card yet.

Britny = Bitchy

Abbi = Twinky

Connor = Horny

Sherece = Queeny

Shaniah = Hunky

Mom = Tweeky

Dad = Butchy

Let me just point something out, for humor's sake.

If this is depicting us as 'gay elves', then why is my dad's mouth open as such?

Be the good you wish to see.

27. Something that makes you cry.

Click me.

If you followed the instructions, you would have clicked the link and watched the video about Brady Thompson. It's honestly one of the most touching videos I have ever watched. 

I've been praying a lot lately, for answers. After I watched this, I prayed to be better. It's so difficult to realize how blessed we truly are, yet Brady is always smiling and happy. I would love to be like that. To see the great things in life and to care more about living and being happy than other things.

It's nearly impossible to change a way of thinking after one prayer. I still think negatively of myself more often than not, and I'm not always the nicest person. But for now, working toward a goal of bettering myself is enough. Knowing that someday I will achieve that happiness lifts my mood, even if only a little.

Blog Post Title Here

26. A picture of something you love.

I couldn't find any good pictures of myself, so I was forced to use pictures of other people.

This basically sums up my life.