Sherece Bledsoe: Should-a, Could-a, Would-a.

13. SOMETHING YOU REGRET.

Most of what happened in my life shaped me in some way, shape, or form. Whether it was a positive or negative influence doesn't matter, because I am who I am because of it.

And, honestly, I like who I am.

So I don't regret most things. When I think of regret, I think of wishing you could change something that happened in your past.

It's not that I would change anything, but I would decide to know what I do now about myself, life, and my family.

I would have the answers to questions I asked most of my life.

I would know the truth.

However, there is one thing I would definitely change about my past, about who I used to be.

Given the chance, I would have been myself in high school.

I can't tell you how many friendships I forgo-ed, experienced I passed up, and memories I missed out on.

Because I was constantly moving or changing schools, it was easy to shut people out. I didn't know how long I would be at that school, or for how long people would stay in touch after I moved. So, I quit while I was ahead.

Here was my thinking:

What's the point of making new friendships if I'm not going to be here for very long?

When you go to that many schools and move that many times, it's easy to lose yourself.

I definitely lost myself. Faster than anything else I've ever lost.

Because I didn't know who I was, I didn't know how to act around people. I was, how you say, socially awkward. At least, that's how I felt. I also felt invisible. To this day, I don't expect people to remember my name or what I look like, and it's a weird feeling when someone does.

Anyway, back to the moral of the story.

If I could go back and be myself, maybe I would have had more best friends. Maybe I would have had more confidence. Maybe I would have had a boyfriend for more than a month, maybe even many boyfriends. Maybe I would have been involved in school activities.

Maybe I would have gotten good grades.

Maybe I wouldn't shut people out just so they couldn't shut me out first.

Maybe it would be easier to trust people.

Maybe.

Then again, if I hadn't went through all of that, I wouldn't appreciate friendship as much.

The friendships I have today are definitely worth appreciating, because they are true friendships. The kind that last a lifetime.

If changing my past would change my future, I wouldn't hesitate to pass on that opportunity.

In case that was thoroughly boring, here's a few pictures to make it all better.