Bittersweet Thanksgiving.

It seems as though I'm still waiting for Thanksgiving break. In the past, Thanksgiving always felt like Thanksgiving. No matter what. This year, though, it's like life itself has changed. I have yet to tell if the change is completely good or bad, though it's definitely leaning in the good direction.
Yes, it has definitely been a bittersweet weekend. I find that if you think about the bitter part first, the sweet part always outshines everything else. So let me start with the bitter.
Debbie Downer.
The first bitter part of the break was on Tuesday. Saying goodbye to my friends was definitely the hardest part, especially with a blizzard chasing us right on our tails. Knowing we were in danger was making me more nervous than you can ever imagine. But at least we're all still alive.
Then, I arrived at my dad's house. I opened the door and was lucky enough to see my grandma first. Her words of welcome: "Oh, Jesus." followed by the slamming of her door. Isn't she lovely?
Fast forward to arriving at my mother's house. Surprise, they had Thanksgiving dinner without us. Am I the only one who finds that upsetting? Are we not worth waiting for?
My rude uncle was there, too. That was definitely the cherry on top of a pie I was not in the mood for.
Jump to being at the hospital. When Britny first got pregnant, it was I who was there by her side every single day. I went to her ultrasounds. I brought her food. I sang to her belly. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't there constantly and I wasn't the only one there for her, but we have always been each other's Number One's. She wanted me holding her hand during labor. I was to be the second one to hold the baby. Britny wanted me there with her step by step, and I was more than ecstatic to feel this love. Then, Nik came back. (That sounded negative, but it's not. I promise.) He loves her. He's there for her. She loves him back. They are perfect for each other, and I have never seen my sister so happy. Seeing her happy makes me happy. But, my selfish side broke through that happiness, and I couldn't help but feel jealous of Nik. I couldn't help but feel replaced in Britny's life, because Nik was now the first to know about everything, and I was a distant third or fourth. Britny and I stopped talking as much, and I don't remember the last time we hung out without Nik there. I love Nik(not like that, sickos), I really do, but I love my sister more than anyone or anything, and this readjustment is hard.
To add to these lovely feelings, my dad gave me the news of my cousin, Michael. He had stage four cancer throughout his body, and it clamied him last night at nine o'clock. Never before have I experienced such a mixed feeling of sadness for Michael and joy for Britny. While one amazing person was taken away from us, another was graciously given.
Sweet Counteraction.
When I got to my dad's house, my dog greeted me with such excitement and love. It's nice to know that through everything, she still loves me the same.
Thanksgiving dinner with my dad, Britny, and Nik was an experience I will not soon forget. Nik cooked the turkey three or four times, and it still wasn't all the way cooked. It was still delicious though, as was all of the other food he cooked for us. The best part? Eating on a pool table while watching Ferris Beuler. Did I spell that right? Not likely. No matter what we ate or how we ate it, I loved being with them, and they loved being with me.
When we got to my mom's house, there's no doubt that I was upset about missing dinner. But when I went into my little sister's room to put my stuff away, I saw that she had a framed picture of her and me on her dresser. That, my friends, is an awesome feeling!
I loved that I made my family laugh so much. Maybe my need to make them laugh is a longing for belonging, but either way, it feels amazing. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Are you ready for the sweetest of sweet? The part of my break that could make all of my heartaches subside?
Berkleigh Sherece Bledsoe was born at 12:15 a.m. on November 27th. She was 5lbs 1oz. and 18 in. long. I was asked to cut the cord, and Britny kept me right at her side, holding her hand. When Berkleigh came out, so did my tears. I've never cried so hard out of happiness! She is the most beautiful baby in the world, blackout no battle! Just looking at her brings peace and calm to my heart. She has the greatest mother in the world. Britny was so strong and amazing throughout this whole process. Not once did she shed a tear, and she had barely one dose of pain meds. If it were me, I would be doped up right when I got to the hospital. But my sister is strong. It was a surreal feeling knowing that her baby would be here within a few hours. The whole time, Britny looked so beautiful, and she still does. I don't know how she does it. Berkleigh is one lucky baby!

And that, jolly fellows, is my bittersweet Thanksgiving.